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Being an unpaid carer is really hard. It is an act of compassion, that demonstrates some of the best of our human capacity to take care of each other. However, it is a role that is incredibly demanding on the carer, particularly in modern societies where carers are often isolated and receive little support. Carers are often left feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, face losses and having to adjust to life being different than expected or hoped, and can lose sight of themselves and their own identities as they focus so much on caring for others. In this talk, Laura will reflect on her lived experience as a carer, how her training in Compassion Focused Therapy has helped her to adjust to and cope with her caring role, and how that resulted in writing this book.

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Some of the key themes of the book will be introduced, including how compassion can support carers in managing the challenges of life and caring responsibilities. We will think about how compassion is not about asking carers to ‘just look after themselves’, as we are so often told to do – real compassion is about really connecting with the challenges carers face, and the impact this has on our lives, and learning how to do what helps when we are facing these challenges. We will think about how carers acting with compassion for ourselves can take many forms, from campaigning for change to social care, to learning to be more accepting and less critical of ourselves when we can’t manage it all or have difficult emotions about the caring role, to learning to say no when we need to, to finding ways to keep hold of who we are while caring for someone else.

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Whether you are providing care for someone yourself and are interested to hear from someone else who gets it, or you work in a role providing support to unpaid carers or people who are cared for, this talk will give insights into some of the challenges carers face and how compassion can help with them.

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